My Random Thoughts/Transcript


 * Jaiden: Let's start off being honest right off the bat: I have no idea what this video is. I just had a random idea in my head, "What if I tried to make a video that has literally no point to it?" So here we are. Over the course of, like a month or two, I started jotting down some of the random things that have crossed my brain and stuff along that line. Not the kind that are philosophical or have a deeper meaning, just the stupid ones. I, this video might change the way you view as a person. Whatever, I don't care. Let's get started. I was going through my phone contacts the other week and I was like, "You know what? I want to get rid of the people I don't really need to have in here." Some contact spring cleaning. So I started deleting people I've never talked to and the further in I got, the more I was thinking, "Who are these people?! Where did they even come from?! Jacob Acorn? I've never met a Jacob Acorn before! The frick!?" And then there would be people where I only added their first name: "Ashley? Ashley....I'm assuming Newberry? Uh..yeah, delete. I don't talk to her. Oh, wait, wrong Ashley! Welp, I accidentally just permanently erased some other Ashley from my life." Also that whole process made me realize I have way less friends that I thought I did. Like, I didn't have too many to begin with, but I deleted a lot more people than I thought I would, and my contact list is far smaller than it was before. What if dogs were the humans of the earth? Like, instead of a human society, it was dogs? What would they create, would they build a government? What would their education system be? Would they create dog hobbies and dog sports? I'm not talking about the typical throwing Frisbees and tennis balls. Maybe they'd create a game where they wear face harnesses with a scoop that can hold a ball and they have to toss a ball into a hole in opposite sides of the court, each hole providing a different amount of points depending on its difficulty. Like, kinda like soccer of football combined with basketball, and there's teams so they need to strategize and work together to win against the other dogs? Would they create art and music, and invent things? Do they have passions that we couldn't think of? Like, if humans were just a wild animal, it would be much harder for us to realize that, say, playing a saxophone was your passion! Because, HAH!! Wild animals can't invent saxophones, silly. So you'd never discover that side of yourself. But what if dogs could discover their passions and creative sides like humans? I'd wanna go to a dog art museum and see what kind of art they'd make. Aren't you curious? If dogs had the intelligence and creativity of humans, what would they do with it? Could they run earth better than we are? In a weird way, I kinda hope so. In horror movies, why is it always the piano that's the haunted, pretentious, scary instrument? I've seen the scenarios where piano play themselves, the keys are smashed down to make a really ugly sound, maybe the occasional lid will slam down and kill someone... Is it because people see them as elegant yet ominous at the same time, setting up a good atmosphere? I want to watch a horror movie where instead of walking into a big empty room with a "haunted" grand piano in the center, a character walks into a big empty room and sees a ghost playing-
 * (Video with the otamatone playing "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (one verse))
 * Jaiden: I'd be much more engaged in a movie like that, just saying. Why does nobody talk about half popped popcorn kernels? They're just as good as the full popped ones. After you've consumed 97 percent of your popcorn you get to the kernels at the bottom, and instead of throwing them all away you should crunch on the ones that are semi popped. HMM heck!!! If you don't eat the half popped kernels, you're missing out on some of the best things in life. One time I was at the grocery store getting groceries. "Yeah great script-writing there Jaiden. That was poetic." And at the checkout I could tell the cashier was new at her job, not like she was doing everything wrong, but you could see she didn't have the fluid motion down of a professional grocery store scanner. Those people have it down like it's an art form! It's beautiful in a strange way. So she was scanning the things and she got to the cilantro. You probably know this but you can't just put a barcode sticker on cilantro. I think some stores will wrap a tag around it but the place I was at just had a serial code that the cashier had to manually punch in. So the girl was flipping through the book that had all the serial codes in it and she couldn't find the cilantro code. I've never mentally connected so much with a stranger before, because I knew exactly what was going on her head. She was trying to quickly find the code because she didn't want to feel like she was taking up time by being slow, but in the stress of trying to quickly find the cilantro, her brain was getting frantic which made her gradually start internally freaking out even more.
 * (WHERE'S THE CILANTRO?!?)
 * Jaiden: Because she felt like she was taking way too much time trying to find the code. Repeat cycle getting more and more intense every time and maybe after a minute of her trying to find the code, she just silently put the cilantro in the bag. She gave me free cilantro out of panic. It was a good day. Also, did you know there's a website dedicated to hating cilantro? www.IHateCilantro.com They write haikus. Stressing about a closed deadline is kind of relaxing in a sociopathic kind of way. We've all done it, you procrastinated a bunch on a project and are in the phase of crap because it's due tomorrow and it's already 10:45pm and you've only got like zero project done. But if you think about it, it's kind of nice to see it as-
 * Procrastinator: Well I'm totally stressed and panicked out of my mind right now and would rather just self-implode, but this feeling is going to last for a few more hours, since the deadline's so close.
 * Jaiden: If you didn't wait until the last minute it would have been a less intense but drawn-out feeling of dread while working, versus this approach which even though is ten times more mentally and emotionally draining and likely very bad for your health, only has to last for like one day, maybe in even 12 hours if you really push it. So pick your battles but don't say I told you which one to choose, I'm not responsible for any crummy projects you haphazardly spit out, that's still you. My parents' house had really big windows in the living room, and sometimes birds would fly into them. Most often hummingbirds. Whenever one did, I would go outside to where it landed and if it didn't die from slamming headfirst into a window, I would pick it up and help it calm down and recover from being stunned. A lot of people would probably say not to do that, because it's a wild bird that can have wild bird diseases, and they're probably right but imagine if you did that with humans, some kid is outside running around, they blindly run right into a tree and collapse on the ground, you run over to help them and when you get to them you go-
 * Person: Uh...sorry kid, you've got a cold, can't help you out buddy.
 * Jaiden: Also are you envious that I've gotten to hold a hummingbird before? One even fluttered around me when it recovered. I'm a bird master. Like I said in the beginning, I was jotting all these down over a relatively long period of time so I didn't just write all these in one go, and after I'm looking at the list I made, I realized I wrote half popped popcorn two separate times at different occasions. I guess past Jaiden just felt extremely compelled to talk about half popped popcorn. It is really good though. Why do kids on the internet feel the need to tell their age so frequently? You see it all the time.
 * Tall kid: I'm 13!
 * Medium kid: I'm 6!
 * Small kid: I am 2!!
 * Jaiden: Is there a reason they do it, do they think it's vital information they need to convey? Whenever I see a comment that starts with "I'm 9 and-" my brain kind of automatically writes off whatever they're about to complain about. I'm not saying people these ages don't say anything valuable to me. I really enjoy seeing "I'm 6 and really liked your video! :)" Because then it feels like that message was written with full child pureness. You know the kind, there's still innocent beings that haven't experienced the cruelness of reality yet. But any other time, it's just a detail that adds nothing else to their statement. One time I got an email that said, "I love your vids, I'm seven." So I responded with "Thanks! I'm 19 :)" Do they feel like they're obligated to express their age, do they think they're asserting dominance, is it an accomplishment to them? More mysteries I have yet to find out.

End-card

 * Jaiden: I'm not going to lie, ugh, I won't lie, this is definitely, err, no. This video was really fun to make, it was so different and experimental and all over the place. I don't know, I just had so much fun making it. I was thinking about doing a video like this for a while, just like little random topics that aren't enough to make an entire video about on their own. I haven't seen anyone else do this kind of thing before either, I could be wrong, maybe there's like hundreds of people who already made videos like this before and I'm not being creative at all. If so then okay whatever. Again it was pretty experimental, and just I don't know, I kind of like the chaos and unpredictability of it. If you liked this format, I am totally down to make another one sometime, but if you're like, "Wow Jaiden, this was the suckiest video that ever sucked," then, I probably won't make another. That wouldn't be a smart move on my part. Well I had fun and that's all that matters. Also see you at VidCon!