How to Make Life More Interesting/Transcript


 * Jaiden: Welcome to 2018 Jaiden!! (awkward trumpet noise) What's different? Um....nothing yet, I don't think. If you're like me and don't plan on doing anything extraordinary this year, but still want to spice things up, I have a few suggestions. You know me, living life on the edge. I'm exciting. I'm adventurous. Of course, the best way to make life more interesting is to induce a variable of surprise and the unknown. In 2017 I conducted my own apple research. I just ate a bunch of apples. Here we go... I just got really curious one day. There's so many different types of apples and I don't know jackrabbit about any of them. Did you know there's.. (Google search "how many apple varieties are there", there are 7500 apple varieties, Jaiden is shocked by the discovery) What the sh-!? (take 2) Did you know there's 7500 different varieties of apples?! 200 in the US?? Because that was the first time I actually Googled it... I didn't eat 7500 apples last year. But every week when I went to the grocery store, I'd get a different type of apple I hadn't had before, so I'd be learning about a new apple last week. It sounds stupid but... Shut up! I learned a lot about apples.
 * Viewer: (scoffs) You're such a vegan.
 * Jaiden: So growing up, Mom always got us either Fuji or Gala apples which are some of the most common apples in the US. This is all just my own opinion and research, by the way. If you have a different opinion... Good for you. Gala is pretty much the standard, average apple. Nothing bad but nothing fantastic. Fuji are a bit brighter in flavor and crisper, but they're both good standard apples to make a constant variable. HA!! See, I learned something in 7th Grade science. Now.... (inhales) Yes, this is happening...
 * IDubbbz: (from one of his Legit Food Reviews) Back again with another leeeeegit food review!
 * Jaiden: Golden Delicious are softer and less sweet than Fuji and have more of an applesauce taste. I'm aware of the irony in that description. Crisp Pink or Pink Lady apples are firmer than Fuji but more tart. I don't like Red Delicious. They have a thick skin and mediocre flavor, and if you get a bad one, they're super gross and spongy. Everyone knows Granny Smith. She's green and tart. Sugar Bees are a lot crisper than Fuji, and like the name suggests, super sweet. A top to your apple. Envy tastes pretty much like Sugar Bee. Call me "apple racist". Jazz apples were a..disappointment. (jazz hands) Mainly because I thought the name was cool, and the grocery store had a fun little name tag for them. It didn't taste all that...great. (more jazz hands) Ruby Frosts....NO WAIT I'LL GO FASTER!!! Have thick skin and are kind of sour but not as much as Granny Smith. Pacific Rose are my FAVORITE and the BEST apple! If anyone tries to tell you there's a better apple, they're probably right. Because they only tried like 15 out of the 7500 varieties, which is like 0.2%. But these are the ones I buy all the time now. Honey Crisps apples...are crisp. Nah, they're good, but they're more expensive. Peru apples are really crunchy and taste like a weak Gala. Rockets are super small and have a unique aftertaste. Mackintosh are surprisingly super soft and sweet and taste nothing like a computer. Braeburn....also known as the WORST APPLE to ever be genetically created. I tried it for the first time and was like... UGH!!! EW!! Whoa!! What the f-f-freak?? Like it's trying to be sweet, but also tart at the same time and it's like JUST PICK ONE! You're just a DUMB APPLE! Apparently, they were created by accident, and are a hybrid of Granny Smith and Lady Hamilton, so they're not even supposed to exist! (coughs) Geez, Granny Smith, use protection. But, I mean to give them credit, that's pretty progressive considering it was the 1950s. Apparently, Braeburn is also a My Little Pony character. Anyway, avoid at all costs. I hope all the Braeburn trees Brae-BURN in a giant fire and rebirth to Pacific Rose ones. So now you're an apple master, like me... Apple research gave me something to look forward to each week and isn't very expensive since they're....apples. I'm also currently running a similar experiment on mint gum flavors. If apples aren't "good enough" for you, eh, then try doing something you normally wouldn't do. But not because you're a new and improved person, just to try and get a good story out of it. If you start trying to induce good stories, eventually, you'll get one. When I was still in college, I had to take a service learning class, where we had to earn 75 hours of service from some sort of internship, without being paid. The one I chose, completely on my own, not because it was the closest to campus, and I didn't have a car, was working as a teacher's aid at a children's Montessori. Don't know what a Montessori is? Me neither when I took the internship! It's a children's school where the teachers focus more on letting the kids learn things on their own more naturally than traditional teaching methods in elementary schools.
 * Student: Wait, Jaiden, this sounds interesting... Can you explain a bit more?
 * Jaiden: NOPE!! I'm moving on. So the main reason I chose the Montessori, not including the location.....was because...kids are funny. And there would be some great stories to come from babysitting a classroom of kindergarten to third graders, six hours a week, for a whole semester. I applied to the Montessori and scheduled an interview. I've never had a real job before, so I was super nervous and didn't know what to expect. The head teacher, Miss Frizzy, which isn't her real name, greeted me-- Actually, no. FIRST, I didn't know where the front door was, like I went up to the door that I thought was the entrance. But it was locked, so I called the number they gave me and they said just go through the gate. And I didn't know where the gate was but it ended up being around the SIDE of the building, and the gates were all closed. So I thought I'd have to hop the fence to get into the school. But it would look super sketchy to see a college student hopping a gate to force their way into a children's Montessori... But I figured it out. So I met Miss Frizzy but not in our own room. It was in the middle of the kids' class time, when they were all running around with books and puzzles. She was like:
 * Miss Frizzy: Hey there, nice to meet cha.
 * Jaiden: And pulled out a kid's chair because they didn't have anything else. I sat down and my knee is crunched up to my chin. It was a lot more casual than I thought it was gonna be, and probably should have been. There was one part where she was like:
 * Miss Frizzy: Do you have first-aid training? You legally need to have that if you want to work with children.
 * Jaiden: And I will not confirm nor deny the possible first-aid training in question. But yeah..we might have brushed over that one. ANYWAY, I got the internship, arrived the first day and no one told me what to do. I was like, "Hi, how can I help and also how does everything work because I know nothing?"
 * Teacher: Oh yeah, just help the kids if they need help.
 * Jaiden: OH!! Okay then. For the majority of the internship, I was stressed out and anxious because for three hours every time I went in they felt like I had no purpose except walk around and smile at kids. Occasionally I'd help one find a puzzle piece. But those were exciting days.... Also two kids didn't even speak English. Like what am I supposed to do when a kid is crying!? I ask what's wrong and I get:
 * Japanese boy: 私の指が切られて痛い. 血が出ているのを見てください！ 私の言っていることが分からないのですか？ あなたは日本人ですよね？ (My finger got cut and it hurts. Look there is blood coming out! Why don't you understand what I am saying? You're Japanese, right?)
 * Jaiden: (confused) For an hour, the kids would have lunch and then go outside to play and that was more manageable. Because I just had to make sure none of them back flipped off swings or something dumb. I could also pass the time and prevent insanity by sweeping sand off the pavement. My favorite memory by far when I was there, was when a kid got stuck in a bucket. We just hear:
 * Kid: HELP! HELP!!
 * Jaiden: And look over to a kid, upside down turtle with his butt in a pail. Heh heh... Pathetic. So what can you take away from this video? Braeburn apples were an accidental hybrid love child of two apples and kids are incompetent at life. See, with a few little tweaks, it isn't hard to spice up your life. Now, go out and get yourself a funny story. Also one day at the Montessori, a kid pooped on the sidewalk.

End-card

 * Jaiden: Happy practically end of January! Sorry I haven't been able to get more videos out lately. Life hits you hard, bro. I'd like to thank Dave from Boyinaband's sister Hannah for the little Japanese boy's voice. That was actual Japanese! She taught herself Japanese in her free time! She told me the translation and...I'm not gonna tell you. Ha ha ha! Little Easter egg for the people who teach themselves Japanese or already know it. I'd like to thank my extra animators again for helping out with scenes. People have been noticing, "Hey that scene looks a bit different", and that's because we've got some other people helping out. I've said it before, it's not a secret. Their links are always in the description and they're all really talented. I'm still looking for some extra permanent people. Because right now it's relatively casual. If you or someone you know has a style that can fit well with the videos, send me a portfolio at..uhh... Shoot. I didn't plan this out actually. Let's--let's do JaidenAnimationsAnimator@gmail.com Yeah, no promises I'll be able to respond to your email. Last time I asked you for pet photos, Twitter blew up and everything in my notifications were just pet photos for a solid week. It's not the same but just a disclaimer. I also forgot that I also tried Opal apples and they're really good, IMO. 'Kay I think that's all. Thanks for the patience. Bye!