Random Thoughts (Part 2 Edition)/Transcript


 * Jaiden: Welcome back to random thoughts! This time part 2 edition. I wanna talk about random things that cross my mind but can't stretch them into their own videos, so I'm shambling them all together to make a weird video that's a whole caboodle of nonsense. If you haven't seen my first random thoughts video....you don't need to watch that one first to understand this one. Thinking about it, you could pretty much jump in at any point of either of these videos, and you'll be fine since it's nothing but a melting pot of balderdash. Thesaurus.com is giving me a rainbow of colorful words today. Poppycock. Are there limits to what you can call a fork? There's three pronged forks and four pronged forks... Can a knife be classified as a one pronged sharp fork? You use them both to stab things. Well, i guess knives are more slicing and cutting. Can a sword be classified as a one pronged super sharp fork? Those things were definitely both created to stab! Can a fork fall in the category of a tiny, really dull four pronged sword? Is there a spectrum of fork to knife to sword? Back in like, the renaissance era, what if rivals said:
 * Knight: Sir, I challenge you to a super sharp one-pronged fork duel!
 * Jaiden: Or even....what if:
 * Knight: Sir, I challenge you to dull four-pronged tiny sword duel! (other knight pulls out a knife) Oh no!! He brought a less dull, tiny one-pronged fork sword!
 * Jaiden: So you know bananas? Those yellow things? I don't know about your life, but I always grew up not eating any bruises on bananas. There's nothing wrong with bruised bananas. They're the same as any normal non-bruised banana. I think.. I just did research, as in the first result on Google, and it says for bananas to ripen, they start to make a hormone called ethylene, which sounds like an ingredient for gasoline, but it's not! It's what turns bananas from their super gross green bitter phase, to the softer, sweeter, and quite frankly more superior yellow phase. Yay, ethylene!! But apparently, ethylene doesn't know how to chill out, so even when a banana's at the perfect ripeness, the ethylene is like:
 * Ethylene: Mmm, no. I think we can keep going! I think we can be EVEN MORE RIPE!!!! What's the worst that can happen?!
 * Jaiden: So, the banana just tries to infinitely get more ripe, which is what eventually turns it mushy and brown. No, ethylene! And isn't that just a metaphor for life? You can't endlessly taste the image of banana perfection you have in your head, little banana. You should try to stop and appreciate the ripeness you're at every once and a while. Or else you'll keep working toward something unachievable and get...all....mushy. BANANA BODY POSITIVITY!! Unless you're a green banana. Then I hate you. So the dark spots are basically just the banana starting to get too ripe, which means they're harmless. But they used to freak me out a lot, so I'd have to cut them off or something to be able to enjoy the rest of the banana. And then I started thinking, what if there was a banana monster that ate humans? Would they want to eat the bruises on humans?
 * B1: Aw, splits. This one has a bruise on it.
 * B2: You know those parts are still edible, right?
 * B1: I ju-I..I don't like them. I think they taste gross.
 * B2: (sighs) Here, you can just cut off the bruises, it's fine. Let me just use this one-pronged fork of mine, and...
 * Jaiden: This started off all sciency and informational. And then I think I ruined it. Since you brought up the topic of bananas! I was at a store checkout line one time, and this guy got in queue behind me. I didn't think anything of it...until I saw this river of bananas scroll up to the register? Imagine- so y'know how grocery stores have their bananas on display, and underneath the display sometimes there's more boxes of bananas? He had, like, four of those banana boxes, all laid out on the conveyor belt. I've never seen anyone buy that many bananas before. You know you have to eat all those in a certain amount of time, right? With the ethylene and all that? Is this your first time buying bananas? I looked up to see who this hero of a man was, and we made eye contact? And I didn't know what to do, but I felt like I had to say something because I was so proud of him? So I just went, "Yeah. Bananas are my favorite too." What are fish's opinions on water currents? Do you think they think they're annoying?
 * Fish wife: Welcome home, fish dear! How was your day at the offish?
 * Fish husband: Ah, fish wife. The currents were pretty strong today. I was swimming to fish work and the currents swished all my fish papers out of my fish hands. I mean fins- so I was late. Our fish neighbor, Benjafish, crashed into me on my way as well. Currents were too strong for his feeble fish body. You know him in this old fish age.
 * Fish wife: Oh, fish frick.
 * Fish husband: Fish wife!! There's no need to use that type of fish lang--
 * Jaiden: *pssh* This is stupid! But are strong water currents for fish the equivalent to, like, strong wind for us? Wind is my least favorite weather! People with long hair can understand. Or do you think they're more like fun amusement park rides? Or, at least, slides? Like in Nemo when they were with the high turtle? That seemed like fun. I can imagine a fish charging fish money to let other fish go down the river stream, or, a little waterfall. Fun for the entire fish family! FISHNEY WORLD!! But then I remember those clips of salmon trying to swim upstream against the water to go have babies, and that whole ordeal just seems like an inconvenience. Especially because...bears....
 * Fish: (ends up in bear's mouth) OH FISH FRI-!!!
 * Jaiden: Are we all just brains wearing human meat suits? Let's pretend there's a Fountain of Youth somewhere, let's pretend that's a real thing. Do you think that if you sat in it too long that your fingers would get wrinkly? HA!! Get it? Because water makes your hands... Do you think if you sit in it for too long, you'll eventually just turn into your mom and dad because before you became a human baby that's how you originated? If you wait even longer do you become your grandparents? Can you keep going until there's several medieval villages of ancestors sitting in this fountain? Can we reach amoeba phases?? RNA and the primordial soup??? THE UNIVERSE ITSELF???? I talked about keeping a little list of these random thoughts as I think about them over time in part one, and this point just says, "Why are bugs always pregnant?" with no other context? So, I don't know what to talk about here or what past Jaiden was even thinking when she wrote that. As a kid I would daydream a lot. In fourth grade, sometimes I would make up this scenario in my head where I would be in school like any normal day, and in the middle of class I would magically be turned into a dog. Stay with me here. I'm not a furry. So I was transformed into a dog somehow and I imagined that I'd get up from my desk, walk up to the teacher, and say:
 * Dog Jaiden: Can I go home? I'm a dog.
 * Jaiden: And that would be my excuse to get out of school.
 * Dog Jaiden: HAHA!! Smell you later!
 * Jaiden: So what's it like to be a normal kid? I feel like the majority of people would just try to pretend they're sick or something! Me?! *pfft* Nah! Being turned into a dog would be the most logical and easiest way to get out of school. I didn't even have a follow up plan for after I got out of class! I'd go home? And then what....just be a dog for the rest of my life? Obviously I had to be a dog that talked, so maybe I would have became a super-famous talking dog? But scientists might want to take me away and run tests on me and my weird human dog brain.
 * Dog Jaiden: All I wanted to do is get out of class!
 * Jaiden: I'd probably end up daydreaming about turning back into a human to get out of dog experimental lab class. Or i could just pretend to be sick like a normal science experiment test subject...

End-card

 * Jaiden: So a few videos ago, I talked about wanting to collect those three Pokedolls and guess what your girl did! I finally found them, and they're sitting on my desk, and they're my greatest achievement! I found a Sceptile a while ago, but like a week later I found someone selling all three at the same time, and I was like, "WHOA OKAY!! Here we go!" At first I asked if they could just sell me the Blaziken and Swampert, and they said no, and I was like UGHH, but I bought them anyway. So I have this extra Sceptile Pokedoll and I decided to just give it to someone. So I'm gonna do a little fun game. If you want the Sceptile Pokedoll, just tweet me a funny reason why I should pick you to send it to you, and the funniest tweet or the tweet I like the best will win. And do, like, #JaidenDoll, so I can semi organize everything. I'll choose the winner in like three days. Last time I asked you to tweet me stuff, Twitter was like, "WHO-O-OA! You're getting a crap ton of notifications! How' bout you chill for a bit?" And I was like "NO, Twitter, when I say I want pet pictures, I want to see the pet pictures." That was a really fun week. Also one last thing real quick. There's new holiday Christmas merch in the shop if you dig that kind of stuff? And everything's gonna be 25% off for a while so yeah, that's cool. Thanks for listening and can't wait to see my Twitter be a mess for another week. Bye!